You know, life has a way of letting us know how insignificant we are as individuals and how little our personal efforts really mean. Thousands died in Nepal because of an earthquake and building codes beyond their control. I watched the news and felt as much sympathy as I could from my comfortable home in California at 5 am Pacific time this morning. Then I tried to get out of bed. A bulging disc and stenosis in my spine took hold of me and in a very clear manner said, “Hey asshole, we own you.”
My sympathy for the poor souls in Nepal didn’t go away, but it took a back-seat to the sympathy I felt for myself. Tomorrow will be the sixth anniversary of the spinal cord injury that put me in a power wheelchair for half of each day. I’m in bed the remainder of each day. Oh, poor me—not. I’m one lucky asshole. I’m alive. I live with a loving woman and I have the resources to live better than at least ninety percent of people of Nepal. But, I have to admit I felt very sorry for myself this morning when I couldn’t get out of bed.
Then I watched “The Price is Right” took some pain pills, slept for a while, found the strength to get out of bed and into my wheelchair, and write this missive on my Dell computer. I truly don’t know why I’ve written this. I feel bad and good, I care and don’t care. I’m human and inhuman.